Going Overseas was my Biggest Mistake of My life, I lost a lot in my life.

Hi, I was 23 when I decided to go to Australia, I was married with 1 baby boy. I applied for a student visa in 2011 and came to Australia, leaving behind my 4 month old baby with my wife in Pakistan.

When I came here, I got very busy in life. I had to do a lot of work to pay my fees, rent, and food. I was unable to send money to my home, That triggered my family to look after my partner and kid.

As usual, our culture provokes my wife and mom to argue and blame each other for my struggle.

Well, I worked hard and kept continuing my job and studies, focusing on my dream of getting a foreign degree, and getting settled in a foreign country.

My wife used to cry on every call to apply for her visa and bring her with me, I thought I wouldn’t be able to do so, as my earnings were limited and I was afraid, because I used to sleep in the car, I used to eat leftovers, and that always made me think, I can do this to myself but can’t do it with my kid or wife.

I have to give them the best I can, Best food , best accommodation. This over thinking gives me some mental illness, I never get a chance to talk to my family that I am going through that tough time, I keep it to myself.

I applied for my first credit card, and I was unaware I couldn’t withdraw money from an ATM. It would cost me a huge amount of interest, I sent money home for the first time on my baby boy’s 2nd birthday. That gave hope to my family that I was getting settled, but they were unaware of how I sent money to them.

It depends on getting high,The marriage culture in Pakistan kills us. I used to get calls from mothers to send money for my cousin’s marriage, with emotional  blackmail. People say that if your kid is overseas, he must be sending you a lot of money. In Urdu I can say “Tanna Marna” .

Then I start realizing, I am losing my wife’s trust as well, She thinks I don’t love her anymore, must be clubbing with “Gori Mams.” Believe me, I was going dish washing that time with wet eyes.

I believe being a man is in itself a challenge. We have to show the world how strong we are from the outside, but we are fully damaged from the inside.

So let’s twist my story a bit,

What i have lost?

Do you remember I said at the beginning, I have a kid? Yes, I lost all the beautiful memories of him growing older, I lost the precious time of my marriage. The first five years of your marriage are very vital where you and your partner decide your future. I lost that, Plus I used to hear from “Khandan” Maa Baap ki khitmat kay din aye tu bahir chala gaya. I also labelled myself as a “Traitor”. We don’t love Pakistan.

Don’t judge the book by its cover. From the outside, we look very happy, but broken somewhere .

If you like to hear what happened in my life, please comment below for part 2.

Did I get PR? Did i call my wife? Is she still with me ? How old is my boy?


Ahmad from Perth

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